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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?